Today it hit me.

9 months ago I realized I wanted more in my life.
6 months ago I began working remotely from home.
2 months ago I enrolled in an amazing travel program called Remote Year.
Today it hit me.

These last 9 months have been filled with so many incredible experiences. I learned what I truly want in my life and began taking what felt like tiny steps toward fulfilling my vision.

A big part of my vision for my life was experiencing more. I had always considered myself a traveler. It felt like a part of me. But when I looked back, I realized I hadn’t been outside of the US in over eleven years.

I must have stumbled upon an ad for Remote Year. I can’t recall because I didn’t take it very seriously in the beginning. I halfheartedly followed all the necessary steps to enroll including two rounds of applications and a video interview. For the first couple days after I was officially accepted into the program, I dreamed about how amazing my life would be if I were to take this opportunity. When I brought it up to my family, they acted interested, but they knew I would never do it. I thought I knew it too.

A month later, I’m sitting at this beautiful outdoor restaurant overlooking the ocean at sunset near my home in Southern California. I feel a sense of immense gratitude. I know how blessed I am.

And still. I feel a pull. I see the people around me and I wish they were different. I long to sit in a crowd of strangers and not understand a word they’re saying. I desire to be lost. To experience newness. To travel.

So I get home and check my bank account. Is this an actual possibility?

Yes. It actually is. It’s a crazy, incredible, outrageous opportunity that’s just sitting there in my email inbox. Just waiting for me to choose it.

And so I do.

And now that I’m officially in, it’s all I ever think about. Everything I do is somehow related to my trip. I spend weeks researching the perfect suitcase. I make arrangements with my boss. I tell everyone I know. I’m on a non-stop wheel, spinning with excitement and preparation.

But today the wheel paused. And it hit me. I’m leaving. In less than two months.

And my people. I won’t see them for a year. And their lives are changing drastically. They’re going back to school. They’re starting businesses. They’re having babies.

And I won’t be here when it all happens. So I cried about my trip for the first time. I allowed myself to feel the fear. I sat in it for a while.

And then a friend reminded me that in one year, not only will all my people’s lives have changed, but my life will have changed as well. We’re all moving forward. We’re all realizing our dreams. We’re all finally doing exactly what we’ve always wanted to do. And how beautiful is that.

 

 

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